Long before my boys got into sports I came across many parents of exceptional tots. I would go to a preschool activity and a mom would be talking about her sons Super League Tee-ball team. In elementary school my boys would come home from school talking about their friends who were all-star soccer players. At the grocery store I would hear parents on their cells discussing the latest shenanigans of their kid's Extra Special Sports Team. There were so many phenomenal athletes around here the football little league program had to expand their 'A team' to three 'A teams.' I have no idea how many Super Teams existed in my town, but almost every parent I encountered had a super duper child athlete. How was it that all these superstar kids lived in my city? Where did they all come from? What was going on that all these future Bo Jacksons and Michael Jordans lived here? For awhile I was surrounded by superstars, all-stars, and everything else kiddo spectacular your mind can imagine. I mean these kids were on the fast track to the pros.
Then my son entered high school and many of the superstars disappeared. What happened? Where did they go? To be honest, I didn't notice their sudden departure right away; probably because my son is still actively playing, and I continued to see many of the parents and the kids around town. It wasn't until I ran into one of the superstar's mothers, Gretchen, at the grocery and had a chance to talk to her that I realized many of the All Stars were no longer playing. Our conversation in front of the deli counter was eye-opening.
To give you some background... Gretchen's son, Matt, and my son played on the same ninth grade basketball team. Matt was amazing. Not only did it appear that he out hustled most of his teammates, scored more baskets, and out defended the fellas, he was also on a Super League team. Every game was sprinkled of talk about him playing on the high school team; which was very difficult to get on because of the high number of students at the school. There was no doubt we were watching a future college basketball star. However, after ninth grade Matt was never seen on the basketball court again. What happened?
I'll tell you what happened, Matt didn't make the high school basketball team; the coaches claimed he fouled too much. He threw out his sneakers and never went out for the team again, instead Matt decided to become a Super Academic and focus on business. No joke, that is what Gretchen told me, except for the Super Academic part. She shared with me that Matt was a fantastic student and had tested into one of the best tech programs in the district. Matt's first 'No' may have ended his athletic career, but not his future of being an All Star and being in the Super Program. When Gretchen and her husband could no longer pay and politic Matt's way onto the team he and his parents gave up and turned their focus to something else.
Maybe that is why my son continues on in sports, he had to play better than the money and the politics and learn how to swim with the big sharks without getting bit. Now that I look at it, in my city not only am I surrounded by Super Duper Teams, I am drowning in EscaladeXLs, big fake boobs, giant wedding rings and flashy designer handbags. Many of my neighbors are facades of themselves, and those facades are covered in super SuPeR SUPER. I guess what happened is the superstars never left they just took their superstar selves to different pastures.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Do I need a card, cloak and/or special key?
What an elusive community the basketball world is where I live. That is probably why it is called a 'Club Sport,' and sadly they don't freely give out membership cards to belong. However, there have been clues dropped to help the regular Joe gain membership to one of the most exclusive clubs around. Perhaps, at this point, you are wondering why belonging is so important. From what I understand if your kid wants to play college basketball they are mostly recruited from a club team (aka travel team). Here is what I have figured out to be admitted to ThE cLUb...
1... Be wealthy, look rich and/or have an affluent sounding last name.
Be wealthy. This is a must! These club teams can drain a parent's pockets dry. I have no idea how all these NBA players can claim they came from a poor household with all the fees and dues that must be paid to play. This is a breakdown of the cost for one team:
$100 Monthly coaching fee
$ 80 Coach traveling fee per tournament (you can have as many as 3 tournaments in a month)
$ 50 Tournament fee for each tournament
$ 10 Daily entrance fee to watch your kid play, this is a per person charge
Maybe that doesn't sound too bad to you until you also add in the traveling expenses for your player and you, if you decide to tag along with your kid. Last summer during the NCAA open time we were on the road going to tournaments for the last three weeks of July. Being that I have three kiddos it ended up being our summer vacation; Anaheim to Vegas, back to Anaheim. That meant three weeks of hotels, eating out, and gas to all the games; thank goodness for the free breakfasts hotels offer. I know of a club team that charges a flat fee of approx $2800 each season per player. The flat charge covers the costs associated with the player and coaches, but not any cheering tag alongs. Once again, if you wanna cheer on your kid you will be paying a hefty cost.
Look rich and/or have an affluent name. Pretty obvious, the club (coach) knows what the expenses are and they don't want to have to be bill collectors. I have not heard of club/team/coach running credit reports, even though I wouldn't be surprised. So how else can they figure out who can truly cover all those expenses other than by superficial means? At the end of the day the coach has to be a bit of sleuth too.
2... Don't look or actually be black.
Yep, you read that one right. I cannot tell you how many coaches, trainers and parents have said to me, "Your kid is black, he has it easy." This statement is usually said with a shrug of the shoulder. Therefore to level the playing field they begrudge them an equal opportunity, at least that has been my experience. Also, the power holders where I live are white and in most instances power=money and money=being able to afford to play. By the way, I never claimed to be politically correct and I won't start now.
3... Be connected.
Where I reside being connected means belonging to the predominant religion. Again, the power holders out here are of a certain religion and power=money, and you get where this is going. Another way of being connected is to actually know someone who is part of the team. If you don't know someone your kid is more than likely not even going to get a real chance to tryout. Once a team posted in a blog that they were having an open gym (open gym means tryout in basketball talk). My friend and I took our boys hoping that they might actually get a chance to tryout. Instead we were met with weird looks and at the end of the session the coach told us to talk to his dad, but his dad wasn't there. We emailed the team and never got a response. I now realize we were TrYoUT CrAsHerS.
4... Have a mutantly TALL kid.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "You can't teach tall." and luckily for my boys they are tall; my sophomore stands at 6'5" and my freshman is 6'2". This is what got one of my sons a chance to play on a club team last summer because we definitely don't fit into the top three. Sadly, there is usually a rich connected white kid who is just as tall or taller. That's what happened to my kid and we lost or probationary card.
5... Don't burn any bridges.
Well, this blog is sure to burn a few bridges and hopefully those burnt bridges will lead our way. Seriously, I have no idea what this means. Maybe I have already burnt a major bridge and because I am not part of the club I didn't even see the bridge I burned.
There are probably many more hoops that have to jumped through in order to make the club, but that is all my wee lil brain has noticed. This afternoon I spoke to a college coach who recounted some of the downfalls to club teams; they make the sport "political," it opens up the arena to unscrupulous coaches, and they make playing the sport very expensive. I guess that is a warning and clue all wrapped up in one.
Now, is there someone out there who can help me find and get the card, cloak and/or key?
1... Be wealthy, look rich and/or have an affluent sounding last name.
Be wealthy. This is a must! These club teams can drain a parent's pockets dry. I have no idea how all these NBA players can claim they came from a poor household with all the fees and dues that must be paid to play. This is a breakdown of the cost for one team:
$100 Monthly coaching fee
$ 80 Coach traveling fee per tournament (you can have as many as 3 tournaments in a month)
$ 50 Tournament fee for each tournament
$ 10 Daily entrance fee to watch your kid play, this is a per person charge
Maybe that doesn't sound too bad to you until you also add in the traveling expenses for your player and you, if you decide to tag along with your kid. Last summer during the NCAA open time we were on the road going to tournaments for the last three weeks of July. Being that I have three kiddos it ended up being our summer vacation; Anaheim to Vegas, back to Anaheim. That meant three weeks of hotels, eating out, and gas to all the games; thank goodness for the free breakfasts hotels offer. I know of a club team that charges a flat fee of approx $2800 each season per player. The flat charge covers the costs associated with the player and coaches, but not any cheering tag alongs. Once again, if you wanna cheer on your kid you will be paying a hefty cost.
Look rich and/or have an affluent name. Pretty obvious, the club (coach) knows what the expenses are and they don't want to have to be bill collectors. I have not heard of club/team/coach running credit reports, even though I wouldn't be surprised. So how else can they figure out who can truly cover all those expenses other than by superficial means? At the end of the day the coach has to be a bit of sleuth too.
2... Don't look or actually be black.
Yep, you read that one right. I cannot tell you how many coaches, trainers and parents have said to me, "Your kid is black, he has it easy." This statement is usually said with a shrug of the shoulder. Therefore to level the playing field they begrudge them an equal opportunity, at least that has been my experience. Also, the power holders where I live are white and in most instances power=money and money=being able to afford to play. By the way, I never claimed to be politically correct and I won't start now.
3... Be connected.
Where I reside being connected means belonging to the predominant religion. Again, the power holders out here are of a certain religion and power=money, and you get where this is going. Another way of being connected is to actually know someone who is part of the team. If you don't know someone your kid is more than likely not even going to get a real chance to tryout. Once a team posted in a blog that they were having an open gym (open gym means tryout in basketball talk). My friend and I took our boys hoping that they might actually get a chance to tryout. Instead we were met with weird looks and at the end of the session the coach told us to talk to his dad, but his dad wasn't there. We emailed the team and never got a response. I now realize we were TrYoUT CrAsHerS.
4... Have a mutantly TALL kid.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "You can't teach tall." and luckily for my boys they are tall; my sophomore stands at 6'5" and my freshman is 6'2". This is what got one of my sons a chance to play on a club team last summer because we definitely don't fit into the top three. Sadly, there is usually a rich connected white kid who is just as tall or taller. That's what happened to my kid and we lost or probationary card.
5... Don't burn any bridges.
Well, this blog is sure to burn a few bridges and hopefully those burnt bridges will lead our way. Seriously, I have no idea what this means. Maybe I have already burnt a major bridge and because I am not part of the club I didn't even see the bridge I burned.
There are probably many more hoops that have to jumped through in order to make the club, but that is all my wee lil brain has noticed. This afternoon I spoke to a college coach who recounted some of the downfalls to club teams; they make the sport "political," it opens up the arena to unscrupulous coaches, and they make playing the sport very expensive. I guess that is a warning and clue all wrapped up in one.
Now, is there someone out there who can help me find and get the card, cloak and/or key?
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Can I Get Some Practice Pants Too?
What am I doing?
I have no idea what I am doing and as an added bonus I am not the best at technical writing. If my sister-in-law saw this she would probably pull her hair out in frustration for my lack of writing skills. However, this is something I have been thinking about doing for several years. Being thrust into a boys club where I don't have a membership card, and lack the qualifications to belong has been daunting. Navigating the in's and outs, the lies and truths, and the coaches from the wannabes, has been eye opening and along the way I have had to write my own map. My map is still being written and I will probably fall in many more holes and drag my kiddos in with me before this adventure is over. "What am I doing?" is an internal dialogue I have with myself daily, if not multiple times a day...
How am I doing?
I have no idea how I am doing. Sometimes I think we are on the right track and other days I just wanna fall to my knees and shake my fist at the sky. My kids have goals, at least that is what they tell me, and I want to be supportive of those goals; but are they really their goals or offshoots of the goals I have for them? I want/need for my kids to go to college and excel. When I look at my college experience compared my husband's (he was a college athlete) it seems like his was so much better. When he entered a class the teacher and other classmates wanted him there. That's what I want for my kids, to be wanted and adored by many, it can make the college experience so much easier. How am I doing? I have no freakin clue and probably won't until my children are adults and I hear all their complaints. Hopefully I won't have to hear those complaints in a therapist office, on a talk show, or from their bedroom in my basement that they share with their spouse and four kids...
Why am I doing this?
Why am I writing this blog? or Why am I subjecting myself to these coaches (and loony parents)? I can answer both questions with one answer... It's complicated. Ha! Not really. Well, maybe it is.
I think I am writing this blog because I couldn't find one and I need a sounding board. I need to discuss what I am going through. I need to read what others are going through. Does anyone else feel the way I am feeling? My hope is that we (you and me) can work through this together. Maybe you have a better way to do things and you can help me. Maybe there is an instance that I can be your poster child on what NOT to do, believe me I have plenty of those. Maybe together we can make a much better map for the next momma. Hey you next momma, you can thank me later.
Why do I subject myself to all this insanity? Simple. I have active children and I want/need them to go to college. Also, I think somewhere deep inside I am some sort of masochist. I have been humiliated and suffered physical pain while trying to be part of this world; and yet I keep on going back for more. Therefore I must gain some sort of pleasure from it, the classic definition of a masochist. Ya, you read that right. Physical pain, everything from falling because I wore the wrong foot wear to having a stroke in the middle of my son's game. I will probably share those stories along the way...
Will this make thing I am doing make any sense?
Probably not all the time. How can it? I have three kiddos of my own plus I am taking care of my niece and nephew. That is a combined total of... 3 (plus or minus one at any time) basketball teams, 1 Tae-Kwon-Do class, 1 vocal coach, 1 soccer team, 1 football team, 2 basketball classes, 2 personal trainers, 1 personal basketball coach, 2 gymnastics classes, 1 dance class, a vast number of parents, and one very tired minivan. Should I mention that I now have a budding actor who just booked his first movie? No joke. Right now my life isn't making much sense, so why would this blog?
At the end of the day all I really want is my own pair of practice pants. It seems like my kiddos get the opportunity to put on some practice pants and actually practice. Yet, I am suppose to always be wearing my game pants. There are days when I could really use some direction, some constructive criticism, someone to rush out on the field and ask if I am okay, someone to cheer me on... And other days I need someone to blow a whistle and tell everyone around me to 'StEp BaCK!'
I have no idea what I am doing and as an added bonus I am not the best at technical writing. If my sister-in-law saw this she would probably pull her hair out in frustration for my lack of writing skills. However, this is something I have been thinking about doing for several years. Being thrust into a boys club where I don't have a membership card, and lack the qualifications to belong has been daunting. Navigating the in's and outs, the lies and truths, and the coaches from the wannabes, has been eye opening and along the way I have had to write my own map. My map is still being written and I will probably fall in many more holes and drag my kiddos in with me before this adventure is over. "What am I doing?" is an internal dialogue I have with myself daily, if not multiple times a day...
How am I doing?
I have no idea how I am doing. Sometimes I think we are on the right track and other days I just wanna fall to my knees and shake my fist at the sky. My kids have goals, at least that is what they tell me, and I want to be supportive of those goals; but are they really their goals or offshoots of the goals I have for them? I want/need for my kids to go to college and excel. When I look at my college experience compared my husband's (he was a college athlete) it seems like his was so much better. When he entered a class the teacher and other classmates wanted him there. That's what I want for my kids, to be wanted and adored by many, it can make the college experience so much easier. How am I doing? I have no freakin clue and probably won't until my children are adults and I hear all their complaints. Hopefully I won't have to hear those complaints in a therapist office, on a talk show, or from their bedroom in my basement that they share with their spouse and four kids...
Why am I doing this?
Why am I writing this blog? or Why am I subjecting myself to these coaches (and loony parents)? I can answer both questions with one answer... It's complicated. Ha! Not really. Well, maybe it is.
I think I am writing this blog because I couldn't find one and I need a sounding board. I need to discuss what I am going through. I need to read what others are going through. Does anyone else feel the way I am feeling? My hope is that we (you and me) can work through this together. Maybe you have a better way to do things and you can help me. Maybe there is an instance that I can be your poster child on what NOT to do, believe me I have plenty of those. Maybe together we can make a much better map for the next momma. Hey you next momma, you can thank me later.
Why do I subject myself to all this insanity? Simple. I have active children and I want/need them to go to college. Also, I think somewhere deep inside I am some sort of masochist. I have been humiliated and suffered physical pain while trying to be part of this world; and yet I keep on going back for more. Therefore I must gain some sort of pleasure from it, the classic definition of a masochist. Ya, you read that right. Physical pain, everything from falling because I wore the wrong foot wear to having a stroke in the middle of my son's game. I will probably share those stories along the way...
Will this make thing I am doing make any sense?
Probably not all the time. How can it? I have three kiddos of my own plus I am taking care of my niece and nephew. That is a combined total of... 3 (plus or minus one at any time) basketball teams, 1 Tae-Kwon-Do class, 1 vocal coach, 1 soccer team, 1 football team, 2 basketball classes, 2 personal trainers, 1 personal basketball coach, 2 gymnastics classes, 1 dance class, a vast number of parents, and one very tired minivan. Should I mention that I now have a budding actor who just booked his first movie? No joke. Right now my life isn't making much sense, so why would this blog?
At the end of the day all I really want is my own pair of practice pants. It seems like my kiddos get the opportunity to put on some practice pants and actually practice. Yet, I am suppose to always be wearing my game pants. There are days when I could really use some direction, some constructive criticism, someone to rush out on the field and ask if I am okay, someone to cheer me on... And other days I need someone to blow a whistle and tell everyone around me to 'StEp BaCK!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)